Anyone who is used to the website expatriates.com must surely have seen the posts of the individual who always identifies himself/herself as "Human Land." He/she does not post regularly, but the content of his/her post is interesting and full of knowledge. Every time I read his/her words, I wonder why he/she decides to stay anonymous. I wonder whether this person is a writer or is aspiring to become one, and why he/she chooses to post ads that teach some virtues, knowing fully well that people usually come to this site for personal or material things. I do hope I get to know this person someday because once his/her words made me smile on a day that I was low.
Below is one of his/her most recent posts.
How Not to Let Annoying People Annoy You
You can ignore people If you are dealing with strangers, but What If they are your Colleagues, Family, Neighbors or Friends ???
Following points to handle such people...
1: Staying calm means you don’t do something you regret later
Sometimes when you get really mad, you may end up doing something rash. If you can stay calm, you’re more likely to choose constructive actions.
2: Getting mad often means staying mad
If you get annoyed here and now, that bad mood may last for a long time.
3: When you stay calm, you really annoy those who want to annoy others
If that person is truly out to annoy you, the very best way to annoy them back is to stay cool. Deny them the satisfaction of getting you riled. They hate that.
4: You only harm yourself
Getting annoyed really harms no one but you.
5: Getting annoyed makes it easier to get mad the next time
You start a cycle of anger – which means it takes less and less to set you off.
6: Dreaming of revenge is bad for you
This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well.
- Francis Bacon
7: Getting annoyed makes the memory stronger
Anything you experience while having a strong emotion, will be etched permanently in your mind. This is why some people can remember every little detail of that incident 8 years ago where some jerk cut them off on the highway. The problem is that the memory becomes so strong that it keeps coming back to you and keeps annoying you for years.
8: Instead of getting mad at annoying people – feel sorry for them
Jerks are very often jerks because they feel bad themselves. Hating them is really a waste of time – feel sorry for them instead.
9: Sometimes you’re at fault and blowing up just makes it worse
Sometimes it turns out, that the whole thing is actually your own fault. If you previously blew up at someone, then you look really silly…
10: It’s not about you
Most jerks you will meet are not really out to get you, personally – this is how they treat everyone.
11: It may not be intentional at all
Maybe they have absolutely no idea that they’re annoying you.
12: Losing your temper makes you look bad
Even if you’re in the right in the situation, if you lose your temper you can end up looking silly, petty or unreasonable.
13: Laugh about it
Most workplace jerk behavior is annoying sure, but when you really look at it, it’s mostly pathetic and ridiculous. Laugh at it, rather than get annoyed.
14: Is it a case of projection?
Few things annoy us more than other people displaying the same weaknesses and faults as we fear we have ourselves. If a person really, really ticks you off, maybe that person is just making you think about some weak sides you’d rather not admit you have.
15: Maybe it’s an honest mistake
And most of all: People make mistakes. Don’t read too much into it when people do inconsiderate things. It may simply be an honest mistake.